271.
 Code:
function a($)
    dim $b
    $b=($=)*4,3,3,three,four,five,six,seven,eight,nine,ten,eleven,twelve,8,8,7,7,9,8,8,0,0,6,6,5,5,5,7,6,6
    $a = ""+$+" is "
    if four=$|$=4
        $a=$a+magic.
    else
        if b>$
            $=($b[$ mod (20-10*($>19))]^)+$b[20+$/10]
        else
            $=$b[($^)-(($^instr($,y))>9)]
        endif
        $a=$a+$+". "+a($)
endfunction
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