heh...

831

function a($)
dim $z,$t,$!,$d,$v,$w,$x
for each $ in $
$t=2
for each $v in split($)
$a=0
$z=1
for $w=1 to 72
$=join(split($,' '))
$z=$z+(substr($,$w,1)=substr(theholygrail,$z,1))
$a=$a | substr($v,$w)>'@'
next
$t=$a+$t
next
$x=$x+#Knight:\+$+#
for $v=1 to $t/3
$ = conspicuous,categorical,positive,cruel,incontrovertib,steed,king,'first-born',mo,fa,grandmo,
grandfa,godfa,Hamster,Coconut,Duck,Herring,Newt,Peril,Chicken,Vole,Parrot,Mouse,Twit,silly,
wicked,sordid,naughty,repulsive,malodorous,'ill-tempered'
if 12<$z
$z='(A childish hand gesture)'
else
$d=$d+1
if $d mod 3=2
$z=$[$! mod 11+13]+!\Your\+$[$!/4 mod 3+5]+
iif($!/4 mod 2,\masquerades\as\a\+$[$!/8 mod 5]+ly\,\is\a\)+$[$!/4 mod 7+24]
$!=$!+1
$v=$v+1
else
$z=Your\+$[$!/2 mod 5+8]+ther\+iif($d mod 3,was,personified)+\a
endif
$z=$z+\+lcase($[$! mod 11+13])
$!=$!+1
endif
; $z=1
$x=$x+Taunter:\+$z+'.#'
$a=split(right(join(split($x,\)),~),#)
endfunction
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!

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