function a($)
    dim $!, $c, $t, $s[9], $g, $w, $h
    $c= '1{5! 1{1', 'Your 4ther 7 a 2{Your 3 6 a 2{Your 4ther 7 a 5',
        '5{8 5{5{9ly 8 5','steed{king{first-born','mo{fa{grandmo{grandfa{godfa',
        'Hamster{Coconut{Duck{Herring{Newt{Peril{Chicken{Vole{Parrot{Mouse{Twit',
        'is{masquerades as', 'was{personified',
        'silly{wicked{sordid{naughty{repulsive{malodorous{ill-tempered',
        'conspicuous{categorical{positive{cruel{incontrovertib'
    for each $t in $
        dim $d
        $g = 'theholygrail'
        for $ = 0 to 36
            $t = join(split($t,'  '))
        next
        for each $ in split($t)
            $w=0
            while $
                $w = $w+($>'@')
                $g = substr($g,(left($,1) = left($g,1))+1)
                $  = right($, ~)
            loop
            $d = $d + ($w>)
        next
        $! = $! + '}Knight: ' + $t + iif($g,},'}Taunter: (A childish hand gesture).}')
        $d = $d - 3*($g=)
        while $d>0
            $w = 0
            for $ = 0 to 9
                while instr($w, $)
                    $d = $d - 3*($=5)
                    $g = instr($w, $)
                    $t = split($c[$],{)
                    $h = $t[$s[$]]
                    if $=5 & $g>1 $h=lcase($h) endif
                    $w = left($w, $g-1) + $h + right($w, -$g)
                    $s[$] = ($s[$]+1) mod (ubound($t)+1)
                loop
            next
            $! = $! + 'Taunter: ' + $w + '.}'
            $a = split(right($!,~),})
endfunction

Your solution passed all tests

KiXtart
KiXtart Version  = 4.53
KiXGolf Script   = kixgolf_tg.kix

Computer
OS               = Windows 2000 Professional
CPU              =               Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 2.80GHz
Speed            = 2793 MHz
Memory           = 504 MB

KiXGolf Scoring Engine
Scoring Engine   = 3.3

KiXtart Golf Score
Tournament       = Taunt Generator
Processing Start = 2007/12/18 13:49:31.531
Processing End   = 2007/12/18 13:49:31.593
Duration         = 0000/00/00 00:00:00.061
KiXGolf Score    = 921

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